I never update anymore. slacker.

Needs:

- to graduate with a bachelors, which may require me to double major since i only need five more classes. Possibly journalism or cooperate communications. One more year.

- a trip to germany or paris, but probably paris because i can stay with my dads cousins. and another trip back to sunny california to regain my tan from summer.

- new furniture

- a big warm winter coat and lots of sweaters

- lots of money

- final-cut pro so i don't have to travel to school to edit video and make inconvenient appointments.

- AN INTERNSHIP. if i make the ballsy choice to do one next semester i need to figure this out asap.

- in and out burger VV

-

Left Coast Envy

California was beautiful. Big post asap

Ends.

End of Summer is exactly two weeks away,

i have to pull some strings with advisors at school to get some classes changed hopefully,

finish my resume and apply to internships which i've been putting off because i refuse to think about getting older 24/7.....but i hate my job lately so it needs to happen anywayz

but first

West Hollywood/ Venice Beach/ Santa Monica/ hopefully i convince mary to go to the red woods

in 1 week.

anxieties: 

the plane ride

that something terrible will happen home while i'm 3000 miles away

that something terrible will happen on vacay while i'm 3000 miles away

Keep it movin

So much has changed in the last month that i can't even wrap my head around it, 

if there wasnt a few people here i care about id run far away

I went to monessen , PA near pittsburgh.  creepy fucking town.  a toxic chemical cloud escaped from the factory thats there and killed most of the people in the town , and the factory was closed down so everyone else left because they lost their jobs.  it was a pretty abandoned town.  we went down to visit nikki and chris for nikkis birthday.  most of the people were chill and i had a really good time.  it was really good to get away and go into the country.  i ate dennys everyday, was amazing.  came really close to thinking a hairless rat was cute and it touched me and i didnt kill it,  this is a HUGE accomplishment for me since i hate all rodents. some dude has a tattoo of himself (yes himself tattoed on himself) as the devil on his left shoulder and jerry garcia as an angel playing guitar on his right shoulder.  ate mad ego waffles, and lived on a porch for a weekend.

I think i made an awesome resume and i'm glad that i can get multiple salon cilent recommendations.  my rents went to north carolina for the last week.  i love sleeping with my dog.  i probably washed every clothing item in my room this past week.  i started to jump rope as a work out and i realized i need to quit smoking.  nicole moved to california monday, it sucks, but were booking our plane tickets this weekend. i feel alone sometimes, but ive realized its better, and i'm really not.

Sandy Hair

updated summer bucket list, etc:

- LA august 24-27, SF 28-30

-getting tanner, but not tan yet, but i will be black soon enough

- megan fox stomach coming soon

- more celebs deaths prob

- CT to go wake-boarding and hanging on the lake with my cousins and friends

- new hair, new bangs

-Pittsburgh July 10th

Remember when we talked of where we'd be a year from now?

Unreliability ... have I figured out my biggest pet peeve.  No this probably just adds onto the list because its pretty HUGE in my book.

I think lately i've lost a giant part of myself to trying to please everyone.  I mean, i've always been like this but its gone above and beyond.   i don't even think of myself anymore and i'm pretty disgusted with myself.   everything has become a hassle everyday , stepping on eggshells, with everyone .  maybe i'm just having a nervous breakdown or something. or maybe its all this rain.  

Met up with nik and ate dukes and got caught in the monsoon season that new york had been going through the entire month of june .   went to a psychic and she told me that i'm practicing some form of magic, that i should work in entertainment ( she also told nik that, but thats my major in school), and that i'm going to marry someone 2 years older than me.  she says i'm in relationships ( yes plural) now that i need to fix up.   maybe my nervous breakdowns and this are all connected?

i've been listening to shook ones and pearl jam for the entire month.  i'm heading out to california with mary to stay with nicole for about a week and i can't wait.  i need to get away from the city.  we're seriously under a plague.

i'm suppose to go to the driving range with my dad for fathers day. i hate golf more than any other sport i know of.  

39th st flea market next weekend..and my cousins memorial service ... on m dads birthday..and then the next day is sams birthday.

Burning Sea

I think i'm completely avoiding a huge crossroads in my life because i'm scared.  Its like having my eyes closed but also seeing so clearly that it is there.  I haven't written in while , half because i'm lazy, and half because i'm really unsure of what i feel and what i want to write.  my mom talked to me about moving out yesterday and it was the icing on my cake that things are changing, and have to change , wether i ignore it or not its going to happen. the weirdest part is that something is telling me all the changes coming will be good for me, but i need to take action so i don't fall behind.

Schools over.  June 10th-14th im gonna go to the bonarroo music festival in Tenn.  camping out for 4 nights on a 700 acre farm. ELVIS COSTELLO , jenny lewis, passion pit, all playing!  last year kanye west had a light show at 4 am.

july 4th free, jenny lewis and bright eyes

july 10th PTW, i can't wait.

its late, summers here, i'll be up until sunrise, my favorite