Ive been obsessed with interior design blogs lately. I love yellow accents and white walls with dark wood floors and lots and lots of light.

Back to reality, i've been working unbelievably hard lately balancing an internship, school, and days to work so i at least have some money to live. its not much though and i'm really broke and i took about 30$ out of my vacation saving which makes me so mad, but i'm t kind of proud of myself. I sat in on a casting today and it was really interesting. I really like my internship, i hope i'm doing a good job. i have to learn not to over think things and judge myself so much. schools boring and i hope i can graduate in june. even though i'll have a couple more classes to make up it'll be a huge relief off my shoulders.

i started to make a bucket list, things include:

- volunteering at sundance film festival

-camping out at the grand canyon

- going to the superbowl or world series and wearing extreme face makeup

- learn how to knit

also, i want to see every cheesy movie thats about to come out.

i need a new hair color.

my bed has become more of a glorious haven than it already was.

Dry Skin

i love banksy, if you haven't seen his street art look it up.

I'm going to buy myself this bike in the spring, so that in the summer i can ride around and listen to music and save gas when its really expensive. mary moved to rosebank so now i dpn't have anyone living 10 minutes away from me anymore, but an hour bike trip would be nice in the summer.

I can't believe this year is almost over i feel like so much has happened and honestly i can't wait till after new years for the simple fact that i won't have to save all my money anymore and i can stop being a debbie downer on the weekends. winter doesn't excite me though. new york is so brutal in the winter and i like to hibernate. its suppose to snow tomorrow. i have my best friend from high schools wedding in 5 days. its crazy that shes getting married. when we were 14 we use to write notes to each other all day in school about boys and our boyfriends and pass them in classes we had together , or in between classes we didnt have together. everyone still thinks we are sisters and its still great.i wish i saw her more. shes moving to hawaii, one of my favorite places, and i hope i can visit her in june.

i have 2 semesters of school left. if i take 25 credits next semester i can walk in graduation and then take like 2 or 3 classes in the fall. im been sending out countless resumes for internships and barely getting anything back. i think its true when everyone said its all about who you know. but i met my moms friends and had coffee and stuff with her on 38th last week and then went to briannas office to help her hang clothes and clean the showroom. i'm born and raised in new york and have never been to macys and we walked past and i dragged her in and then ran out from the amount of people trying to run me over.

i miss people i want to do things over my break. i really want to go to the tim burton exhibit at the moma.

i also want to volunteer at a rehab center and take a film theory class, im one of those people who hates watching movies they hate though.

I posed for my friend brianna a while ago for one of her art classes in boys clothes..these are her paintings of me!

The winters a drag. i want to burrow into a hole made of blankets and pillows on my bed and pop out 5 months later in time for summer sunshine. everyone hibernates and i boycott.

Internship search is moving along i guess. i discovered i'm really impatient and don't want to wait for people to e-mail me back so i might just get dressed up and go to some of these places. hopefully they'll see it as showing initiative and not me being obsessive or crazy. I've sent out about 15 resumes and my mom hooked me up with some people i have to e-mail to meet for coffee and chat...like a grown up. hopefully next semester i have 2 days of school, 2 days of internship and 2 days of work.

And if the snow buries my,
my neighbourhood.
And if my parents are crying
then I'll dig a tunnel
from my window to yours,
yeah a tunnel from my window to yours.
You climb out the chimney
and meet me in the middle,
the middle of the town.
And since there's no one else around,
we let our hair grow long
and forget all we used to know,
then our skin gets thicker
from living out in the snow.

- neighborhood #1 tunnels by arcade fire.

I never update anymore. slacker.

Needs:

- to graduate with a bachelors, which may require me to double major since i only need five more classes. Possibly journalism or cooperate communications. One more year.

- a trip to germany or paris, but probably paris because i can stay with my dads cousins. and another trip back to sunny california to regain my tan from summer.

- new furniture

- a big warm winter coat and lots of sweaters

- lots of money

- final-cut pro so i don't have to travel to school to edit video and make inconvenient appointments.

- AN INTERNSHIP. if i make the ballsy choice to do one next semester i need to figure this out asap.

- in and out burger VV

-

Left Coast Envy

California was beautiful. Big post asap

Ends.

End of Summer is exactly two weeks away,

i have to pull some strings with advisors at school to get some classes changed hopefully,

finish my resume and apply to internships which i've been putting off because i refuse to think about getting older 24/7.....but i hate my job lately so it needs to happen anywayz

but first

West Hollywood/ Venice Beach/ Santa Monica/ hopefully i convince mary to go to the red woods

in 1 week.

anxieties: 

the plane ride

that something terrible will happen home while i'm 3000 miles away

that something terrible will happen on vacay while i'm 3000 miles away

Keep it movin

So much has changed in the last month that i can't even wrap my head around it, 

if there wasnt a few people here i care about id run far away

I went to monessen , PA near pittsburgh.  creepy fucking town.  a toxic chemical cloud escaped from the factory thats there and killed most of the people in the town , and the factory was closed down so everyone else left because they lost their jobs.  it was a pretty abandoned town.  we went down to visit nikki and chris for nikkis birthday.  most of the people were chill and i had a really good time.  it was really good to get away and go into the country.  i ate dennys everyday, was amazing.  came really close to thinking a hairless rat was cute and it touched me and i didnt kill it,  this is a HUGE accomplishment for me since i hate all rodents. some dude has a tattoo of himself (yes himself tattoed on himself) as the devil on his left shoulder and jerry garcia as an angel playing guitar on his right shoulder.  ate mad ego waffles, and lived on a porch for a weekend.

I think i made an awesome resume and i'm glad that i can get multiple salon cilent recommendations.  my rents went to north carolina for the last week.  i love sleeping with my dog.  i probably washed every clothing item in my room this past week.  i started to jump rope as a work out and i realized i need to quit smoking.  nicole moved to california monday, it sucks, but were booking our plane tickets this weekend. i feel alone sometimes, but ive realized its better, and i'm really not.